I know what is
going on, I thought
to myself. My
friends and I had
talked about girls
and boys on our way
to the lake. When we
took our clothes off
for skinny dipping,
the oldest boy in
our group bragged
about the size of
his penis. He said
it was big because
it had gone inside a
girl many times
before. I know what
I'm suppose to do
next, I thought to
myself. I know what
I'm going to do
next!
I pulled off my
pants and looked at
my semi-erect penis.
It was about three
inches long, the
gland slowly
emerging from the
foreskin. I pulled
the skin back and
forth, making the
gland hard and
shiny. I looked down
and saw that my
cousin had looked up
at me and was
wondering what I was
doing to myself. I
got on my knees and
moved closer to her
face. The skin
moving back and
forth, back and
forth, before her
eyes, she reached
for my hands. I
stopped. My small
body shook. I guided
her hands and placed
them on my now erect
four inch penis. She
slowly pulled it
back and forth. I
closed my eyes and
lay on my back. She
sat on my thighs and
her small hands
pulling my skin back
and forth. I moaned,
and she seeing the
expression on my
face giggled her
childish giggle.
Somehow I was mad at
her for having such
control over my
body, I looked up at
her giggled face and
pulled it down to my
penis. I did not
want to see that
happy face. After
she cried for a
while, I pulled my
hands away and
looked at her
tearful face. She
looked at me and her
small hands -- still
gripping my penis --
slowly and with such
certainty put it in
her mouth. I lay
back, closed my
eyes, and shivered.
II.
Then it was the War
and we got
separated.
I was in a refugee
camp with my parents
waiting for the
Americans to sponsor
us. In 1985, a good
Christian family
sponsored us and we
moved to
Minneapolis,
Minnesota. I was
placed in a junior
high school where I
had to learn
English. I hated the
school. I hated the
teachers. I hated
the students. I
especially hated gym
and the locker room
ridiculing. I was
shocked to see that
everybody's penises
were not like me.
They didn't have
skins covering their
glands. Later, as I
learned to read and
speak English, I
realized that their
penises had
undergone a surgery
called circumcision.
I was horrified at
the procedure and
was shocked that
everybody in the
locker room was
circumcised. I
looked for reasons,
and they had a lot
to give me, and all
them seemed to
belittle my
identity. I felt
inferior: a refugee,
an immigrant, a
fucking nobody. I
hated them. I hated
America and its
circumcisions.
America, Land of the
Circumcision, Fuck
Off!
Of course, it was
impossible to fuck
America off. I was
in its land. I had
to do something. So,
every night before I
went to sleep, I
would put a small
translucent rubber
band around my penis
with my foreskin
slicked back. In the
locker room, I
walked around
feeling proud with
my penis looking
circumcised and
normal. When they
asked me how come it
suddenly changed
appearance, I said I
went to the doctor
and got it cut. They
gave me all kinds of
five's; high, low,
medium, left, right,
north, south, east,
west; and finally,
north by northwest.
I didn't do well
with white American
girls. I was afraid
of them. What
happened if I were
to give them cancer
because of my uncut
dick? I was afraid
that I might be
forced to undergo a
real circumcision by
the parents and
their community! So,
I got through the
many nights by
masturbating and
dreaming of my
cousin--especially
our first time under
the Tamarind tree.
III.
I was seventeen
years old when we
received the good
news. My uncle and
aunt were in
Southern California.
I convinced my
mother to move to
Los Angeles by
explaining the
climate down there
was closer to home.
After my high school
graduation, we moved
in with my uncle and
aunt. My cousin was
thirteen years old
at the time. Her
hair was dyed-red,
her nose pierced;
she dressed in blue
jeans and always
wear the Nirvana's
Nevermind t-shirt.
When asked if she
remembered me, she
shook her head and
left us to party
with her friends. My
uncle and aunt were
busy with work that
they did not have
time to carefully
raise her. As for
myself, I worked
part time at Church
Chicken and enrolled
as a full-time
student in LA City
College.
One time, she asked
me for some money to
go to a concert at
Irvine.
"How are you going
to get there?"
"My friends."
"Did you ask your
parents?"
"As if that
matters."
"Well, I'm not going
to give you anything
unless you ask them
first."
"Fine." She walked
upstairs and went to
her parents' room. A
few minutes later,
she came back out.
"They said I can go.
Happy now?"
I gave her the
money. She turned
for the door. I
called to her,
"Trinny, don't you
remember me at all?"
She turned at the
door and said "no"
before leaving the
house. Through the
kitchen window, I
watched her get into
a white Mustang. She
leaned over and
kissed the guy on
the lips. The guy's
hands reached over
to cup her breasts.
Infuriated, I moved
away from the window
and went to the
refrigerator to get
a bottle of Bud. I
drank the beer on
the couch and
watched television.
I reached down,
grabbed my penis,
and began to
masturbate. I closed
my eyes and imagined
kissing my cousin on
the lips. I imagined
touching her
breasts, cupping and
messaging them,
kissing and licking
the nipples. . . .
I woke up to the
sound of the
doorbell. I opened
the front door only
to find Trinny
laying at the steps.
Her tan breasts were
exposed; her red
lipsticks smeared. I
picked her up,
climbed the steps,
and put her on her
bed. I looked at her
and felt for her;
she was so
vulnerable, back
then and now. I
could always love
her no matter what,
even if she was
drunk out of her
head. I bent down to
kiss her lips. Her
breath smelled of
vile liquor. I
wanted to kill the
guy who did this to
her. I reached for
her breasts, but
then she moved. My
hand shot back and
was paralyzed in the
air. I walked
backward out of her
room and went
downstairs to the
living room. I lay
on the couch and
masturbated myself
to sleep, always
dreaming and hoping
that someday Trinny
would love me back.
The next morning, at
the table, Trinny
thanked me for the
troubles I took to
put her in her
bedroom.
What's a cousin for,
Trinny?
III.
A few months after
this incident was
when destiny came in
full circle. In
fact, it was another
Friday night when
our bodies reunited
once again. That
night, she did not
go out with her
friends. She told
her parents that she
would stay home and
do homework with me.
I too made strange
faces after hearing
such a thing from
Trinny's mouth. My
uncle, aunts, and my
own parents retired
for the night at ten
o'clock. Trinny also
went upstairs and to
her own room. Some
minutes later, she
came back down
dressed in a white
T-shirt and striped
boxer shorts. She
lay face-down on the
rug in front of the
television screen
and proceeded to do
her homework. I
looked at her body.
Her ass took shape
from that fabric of
her boxer shorts. I
got up to put the
books away. From the
closet, I brought a
blanket and lay on
the couch. Under the
blanket, I slowly
messaged my penis as
I watched her behind
moving left and
right to the sound
of the music on MTV.
From that television
screen, I saw the
silhouette of her
breasts hanging
quite beautifully,
almost touching the
rug. I began to move
faster and faster
under my blanket.
Trinny turned around
and asked, "Sorann,
are you a virgin?"
"Yes, aren't you?"
"No." Then she
turned back to her
books.
I had almost cum
when she turned
around again and
this time saw what I
was doing under the
blanket. She got up,
moved toward me,
looked me in the
eyes, and kissed me.
She pulled away the
blanket and saw my
erect penis.
"Oh, it's funny
looking."
"What are you
doing?"
"Helping you, of
course. What's a
cousin for?"
She stroked my dick
up and down. Each
stroke brought me
closer and closer to
climax. The skin
flipped back and
forth, making the
sound like tapping
on heaven's wet
door. She then
pulled the skin all
the way down
exposing the wet
gland to the evening
air. She put her
mouth on it and
sucked like when she
was little, when she
was five years old
and I was ten years
old. I felt myself
getting ready to
explode. I told her,
and she managed to
smile with my dick
in her mouth.
"Get off, get off,"
I said.
She ignored me as
she moved her head
up and down faster
and faster on my
manhood. I pulled
her away.
"Why, Sorann. I want
to swallow your
juice, all of it."
"I have something
better in mind," I
told her.
I learned this trick
from many nights of
self-exploration.
When I felt I was
ready to cum, I
pushed my foreskin
forward and pinched
the tip. Then I
ejaculated but the
cum was trapped by
the closed opening.
Thus, a large
balloon shape
appeared at the tip
of my dick.
"Oh, that's neat."
Trinny exclaimed,
realizing that she
would definitely
have all the cum I
ejaculated. She
lowered her mouth
over my finger and
thumb which were
preventing the cum
from escaping.
"Are you ready?" I
asked.
She nodded. As soon
as I let go of the
pressure, Trinny's
mouth was completely
covering my dick. My
foreskin
automatically pulled
back by the flowing
of semen. Although
she tried her best
to swallow
everything, my cum
still found its way
of escaping her
luscious lips. After
she blew clean my
head, she licked up
and down the length
of dick looking for
those escaped
sperms. After the
length of the knob
was clean, she
sucked my balls,
taking each in turns
into her
sperm-eating mouth.
After the clean job,
she got up and
tongued me. I tasted
my own sperm in my
mouth; it was
disgusting, but I
did not protest
because of that
wonderful job she
did on me. Soon, I
even learned to
enjoy it. Her tongue
worked its way in my
mouth like a wild
snake. I couldn't
believe she was only
thirteen and knew so
much more about sex
than me, her
eighteen year old
cousin.
"Now, Sorann. I want
you to learn about a
girl's body. Go
ahead and explore."
She took off her
T-shirt and boxer
shorts. Her breasts
were full and firm.
Her pussy hair was
dark and curly. She
grabbed my hands and
put them on her
breasts. "Like I
said, 'go ahead and
explore.' Touch,
feel, do whatever
you feel natural."
I raised my hands to
cup her face. I felt
her cheeks, her
chin, her warmth on
my palms. I pinched
her wet luscious
lips. I slid a
finger in her sticky
mouth, slowly
sliding it in and
out, watching the
reaction in her
eyes. When I felt
she was ready, I
bend over and
tongued her. It was
my turn to explore
the wet crevices of
her mouth, as my
tongue like a snake
twisting, turning in
the cave of her
orifice. At first,
she was giggling at
my amateur tongue
until I pushed it in
deeper and she
almost gagged. Then
I moved back and
watched the light in
her eyes. It was one
of a realization
that this cousin of
her who had no
friends, no lovers,
no experiences
whatsoever might be
the one who could
finally make her
cum.
She closed her eyes
as I moved down to
her neck. I felt her
pulse beating at the
tip of my tongue. I
responded with each
beating by
encircling with my
tongue over it. She
responded by making
little whimpered
moans.
With my hands
cupping each breast,
I licked her right
nipple. It was hard
and red. Then I put
it in my mouth and
sucked, at first,
the air from its
areola. As my hands
worked their ways by
caressing and
squeezing each
breast, I felt the
squirt in my mouth
and at my left ear.
I sucked on that
right nipple and
swallowed its fresh
milk like there was
no tomorrow. After,
I turned to the left
and did what I done
to the right one; I
sucked and swallowed
its fresh milk, also
like no tomorrow. My
cousin pulled me up
and licked her milk
from my left air.
Then we kissed. It
was slow and
emotionally deep.
There was no tongue
involve, just a kiss
-- but a kiss which
meant something more
than any other
kisses.
After I was
curiously satisfied
with her breasts, I
went to her left
shoulder and
explored that area
by licking it with
my tongue. I raised
her arms and put my
nose at her armpit.
It was scented,
smelled of an
American deodorant,
but it did not
matter. Forget
politics! Forget
racism! Forget the
whole fucking world!
I licked the smooth
crevices of her
armpit. Her body
moved away; she was
giggling.
"I love you,
Trinny," I finally
said.
Then I moved down to
her belly button and
licked that as well.
I cleaned the dirt,
oil, and sweat from
that little hole of
her. She pushed my
head down to her
pubic hair. My
fingers scavenged
through that forest
exploring and
looking for spots
that would make her
body twitch.
Remembering what I
did before and many
times in my dreams,
I rubbed her now
hairy lips with my
fingers. It was
slippery; and it
made the sound like
the way my foreskin
flipped back and
forth when my dick
was being
stimulated. Then I
spread the outer
lips and looked
inside. It was an
epiphany. All the
answers to
everything was
there. The miracle
of life, the miracle
of love, the miracle
of human existence
with all its pain
and suffering. I
looked at the love
canal. I looked at
the urethra where
urine squirts out. I
looked at the
clitoris under the
hood. I inserted my
forefinger into her
lubricated vagina.
It moved easily in
and out. I put
another finger in,
and still it slid
easily in and out.
Then the three
fingers, and it was
good. While these
fingers worked its
way to bringing my
lover to orgasm, my
tongue licked her
clitoris mopping the
juice excreted from
her wet walls. At
times, I would suck
the clitoris and
with my teeth pulled
and stretched it
from its feminine
domain. I worked on
her with all of me.
She screamed, her
head jerking left
and right, her dark
red hair tossing and
covering over her
face.
Then something
happened. I quickly
moved away and
watched as the
muscles of her pussy
and asshole began to
convulsively and
rhythmically
stretched open and
close. It was
something like the
beating of a heart.
Then it happened. A
white thick liquid
permeated and
spilled out from her
vagina. It reminded
me of whip cream. I
reached down my hand
and touched the
juice; it turned
soft and clear in
the palm of my hand.
I put my nose next
to her pussy. The
smell was nothing
that one could ever
imagine. It was
beyond
identification. It
was the door between
this world and the
Ultimate Reality.
I got so turn on
that my dick was
fully erect. I went
inside her. It was
burning with her
white lava. About
ten seconds later, I
came and came. I
stayed inside her
for some more
minutes. It was so
warm, so loving. My
home. My cum and her
cum were intermixed;
we were one.
When I woke up, I
was alone. I went to
the bathroom and saw
her at the sink
brushing her teeth.
I waited outside
like I always did.
She smiled to me and
called me with the
forefinger. I went
over and she pulled
down my pajamas. She
directed me to the
toilet. As I peed,
she pinched my skin
and made the balloon
shape at the tip of
my dick. It looked
like the head of my
penis had expanded
about twice its
size. She laughed
when she let go and
my piss sprayed all
over the place. And
with her mouth full
of toothpaste she
put it over my dick.
She skinned it back,
cleaned it with her
fluorided tongue. It
felt so cool and
soothing that I came
in her mouth again.
Epilogue
Dear cousin, if you
read this, then you
know how I truly
feel about you. I
know I will never be
able to do these
things to you; or
you will never be
able to them to me.
Besides being
illegal, it is also
immoral for one to
have sexual
relationship with
one's own cousin in
this society of
ours. But the act of
writing and
rereading such
desires create and
recreate an
experience that
never was. And that
is good enough for
me.
Now Dear, tell me
honestly, was it
good for you like it
was for me? How many
times did you cum
when reading this
fantasy of mine? It
took many gallons
from me when I wrote
it!
Enjoy. It is as
closest as we will
ever get to one
another. |
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